Unspoken Calamities
by Cassiopeiia
Summary: A series of drabbles involving the angsty Sasuke, the aloof Itachi, and the forever-cheerful Izumi interacting in various domestic settings, from cooking to choosing eyewear. Uchiha fluff. AU.
1. Glasses

**Edit: I went back and made some minor alterations to sentence structure and flow. And I decided to make Sasuke a little bit more PC.**

 **My poor attempt at writing something light-hearted as I ponder where to take Burdened and Beleaguered.**

 **Please note this is strictly AU (which should be quite obvious as both Itachi and Izumi are alive). Izumi, for those who don't watch the anime nor have read the Itachi light novels, is a young Uchiha girl that has a romantic interest in Itachi. She is later killed by Tobi/Obito in the anime. Enjoy!**

* * *

Sasuke had known his older brother's eyesight had deteriorated rapidly with his use of the Mangekyou Sharingan, but Itachi had managed with such dignity and poise that he sometimes quite simply forgot.

And anyhow, it wasn't Sasuke's place as the younger brother to criticize and nag Itachi. It wasn't like he was their _mother_ or anything. Itachi knew how to take care of himself. He had lived as a rogue ninja for _years_ , for God's sake.

But even Sasuke, stubborn as he was, had to put his foot down when one day, he caught Itachi walking straight into the transparent glass door, slamming his forehead against the glass with full force. Glancing off and rubbing the newly forming bruise on his forehead contritely, Itachi had spun quickly on his heels at the exasperated huff issuing from down the hall, where his younger brother stood, leaning against the wall.

"That," Sasuke told him flatly. "Is it nii-san. We're taking you to the optometrist."

"There is no need to worry on my behalf, Sasuke."

"You just walked straight into the glass door!" Sasuke gesticulated wildly. "You need help."

"That's right," Izumi chimed in, appearing beside Sasuke in the hallway. "You should listen to your otoutou."

Itachi sighed. "Teaming up against me is not playing fair," he gently chided the two of them. But he could sense when the argument was a hopeless cause.

"We only have your best interests at heart," Izumi cooned sweetly.

Sasuke picked up the phone.

"I'm going to book your appointment, nii-san."

.

…

.

The next day, Sasuke found himself practically dragging Itachi unceremoniously through the streets of Konoha, Izumi perkily prancing by their side as they made their way to the optometrist's office.

Once they were inside, the three of them took a seat in the nondescript waiting room.

After several minutes,a smiling optometrist appeared and led Itachi into the examination room, but not before the elder Uchiha nearly tripped over a small table.

Izumi stifled her giggles and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Bored, he picked up a magazine and rifled through it. It turned out to be a magazine for pregnant women.

"Oi, Sasuke." Sasuke peered over the top of the magazine. Izumi stared back at him, a pair of dark cat-eye glasses perched on her nose. "What do you think of these?"

"Hideous." He rifled another page.

"Hmph. Not as hideous as the trash you're reading. I didn't know you were into maternity magazines."

Sasuke tossed the offending article aside. "What do you want, Izumi?" he snapped.

"I need you to help me choose some frames for Itachi when he's done with the eye exam." She gestured towards the glass case and picked up another pair.

"Here, what about these?"

"They'll make him look like a fucking hipster."

"Well if you think you've got such great taste, come here and choose one for yourself."

Sasuke stalked over to the case. He pointed to a nondescript pair of plain black rectangular frames. "These."

"God, those are much too dorky. What about these?" She pointed to another pair.

He scoffed and shook his head.

" _Those_ are revolting. Are you sure Itachi is the one that needs glasses?" he asked acerbically.

"Why you little—" Izumi gasped.

The argument bounced back and forth, steadily increasing in volume and profanity. The terrified receptionist took one look at the lightning sparks starting to emanate from Sasuke's right hand as he snarled at Izumi, and quickly excused herself from behind the counter. Izumi for her part, looked ready to murder the younger Uchiha.

Just as she whipped out another insult and formed a seal with her hand for fire release, the door to the examination opened.

Itachi stepped out, blinking owlishly in the sudden bright light. He threw the other two a peeved glance upon seeing both Sasuke and Izumi taking battle stances in the middle of the reception.

"Please try to refrain from destroying this establishment before I've even made my purchase," he commented drily, flash-stepping in between his younger brother and girlfriend to ensure there was no exchange of ninjutsu.

Sasuke refrained from rolling his eyes with difficulty. "Just choose the damn frames, nii-san," he scowled. Izumi stuck out her tongue at Sasuke from behind Itachi.

.

…

.

Sasuke had to admit, it was a little strange to see Itachi wearing glasses. His older brother had finally settled on a rather attractive set of crimson oval frames, and while in Sasuke's private opinion the glasses made Itachi look a little weird, at least his brother was no longer walking into walls or tripping over furniture.

"I think Itachi looks rather handsome in his new glasses," Izumi said fondly. They were in the kitchen making dinner while waiting for Itachi to return.

"Hn." Sasuke drained the broccoli from the pot and set it aside.

"You don't think so?"

"It makes him look a little nerdy. But whatever suits your fancy."

"You just don't like people who wear glasses because of Karin."

Sasuke stiffened. He slowly reached for a cutting board without making eye contact. "What does this have to do with Karin?" he asked off-handedly, trying to sound casual.

Izumi smirked slightly. She knew when she had hit a nerve.

"Well everyone knows how _obsessed_ she was with you," she responded knowingly. "And don't you think the frames are a little similar to the ones that she wears?"

Sasuke winced, and was glad he had his back towards Izumi.

"Hn." Was all he said.

.

…

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 **Remember, reviews are much appreciated!**


	2. Allergies

"Please Itachi, please." Izumi's eyes were as round as orbs, and her lower lip jutted out in an attractive little pout.

He sighed. "Sasuke is allergic to cats."

"But we can't turn him away!"

"How do you know it is a tom?"

"I just _do_. I've always had a good sense when it comes to animals."

The cat in question hobbled slowly over, its back legs barely supporting its frighteningly thin body. A crooked tail hung morosely in the air and the cat uttered a hoarse meow.

It looked like death, warmed up.

Itachi eyed the scrawny creature. "It might have fleas. Also, judging by its appearance, I doubt it will live for very long."

"All the more reason to take him in and give him some care!"

She reached down and ran a hand lovingly along the end of the pitiful cat's spine, which protruded clearly from underneath the tangled, dirty fur. The cat purred weakly.

She glanced up at Itachi, ecstatic. "I think he really likes me!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated.

"Izumi. Sasuke's not going to be able to sleep at home if we bring this creature home with us. It wouldn't be fair to him."

"I'll keep him in the toolshed out in the garden," she responded readily, now attempting to pick up the sorry animal.

"Izumi—"

"Don't be such a worry-wart, Itachi. It'll be fine."

The old jab, alongside her flippant tone, suddenly reminded him strongly and irresistibly of Shisui, and he balked.

.

…

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As Itachi had anticipated, Sasuke proved to be highly allergic, erupting in a frenzy of violent sneezes the moment he strolled into the kitchen, where Izumi had set up a metal tub to bathe the sorry creature.

Noting Sasuke's murderous glare and the fact that his hands were rapidly moving to form the seals for a _katon_ , Itachi had swiftly steered his younger brother out of the room before he could burn the house down again. They did not need a repeat of last Christmas's mishap.

Sasuke seethed in fury in the hallway. "What the _fuck_ , Itachi."

"I tried to convince her otherwise. I'm sorry."

"No don't _you_ be sorry. She should be sorry!" Sasuke gestured angrily towards the kitchen, where Izumi's cooing could be clearly heard as she doted on the poor cat. "She is trying to _kill_ me nii-san."

"It's just allergies, Sasuke."

Despite his remark, Itachi was more than a little concerned by how quickly Sasuke's eyes were swelling shut, and the younger Uchiha also had a huge snot bubble forming under his nose.

"Let me go buy you some Benadryl. You'll feel better."

Sasuke rolled his puffy eyes. "I'm fine, nii-san."

Itachi decided there wasn't much use in arguing with Sasuke. He was still fuming about Izumi's newfound pet and would undoubtedly be inconsolable for several hours.

Instead, he said, "Please, just stay away from the kitchen for the time being."

He turned to leave, but paused, throwing another glance over his shoulder at his younger brother.

"And also, please refrain from murdering my girlfriend while I am out."

.

…

.

When he returned with the medicine, Itachi was mildly relieved to find the Uchiha compound miraculously intact, with nary a singe mark. Sasuke had retreated into his room and barricaded the door, whereas Izumi had made good on her promise to keep the cat in the garden shed.

She had lined the floor with several old towels and blankets, and even scooped up some sand to create a makeshift litter box. Itachi found her situated comfortably in the small nest with her body curled around the cat, which lay happily beside her. She caught Itachi surreptitiously glancing in, and grinned.

"Does he have a name?" he asked from the doorway.

"Not yet, I'm too tired right now to be creative." She yawned, and the cat followed suit. "I'll think of a proper name for him tomorrow."

Finishing up its yawn, he cat stretched his yellowed claws before curling up against Izumi's side. He tucked his paws primly underneath his thin body and covered his eyes with his bent tail to sleep. Izumi practically glowed.

"Look, he's sleeping," she whispered enthralled.

Itachi smiled and withdrew, leaving the two to their own devices.

.

...

.

The next day, Izumi set the cat up in a small crate with several towels so that he could sunbathe in the garden. She wandered into the kitchen to cook a light lunch for everyone, only to return and discover the cat had passed away.

"Don't cry Izumi," Sasuke said uncomfortably.

The three of them were standing in the garden beside the dead cat.

Even the haughty younger Uchiha felt sorry for her, watching as the girl wiped her eyes and choked back another sob. "He was old to begin with."

"B-b-but," Izumi's breath hitched.

Another fat tear rolled down her cheeks. "I didn't even get to name him _yet_!" she wailed and threw herself at Itachi.

Startled, Itachi barely managed to catch her. She clung to his neck, crying incessantly, her tears soaking into the front of his shirt.

He patted her back consolingly, and sighed, his mind already making plans to neatly dispose of the tiny corpse out of Izumi's sight.

Sasuke rolled his eyes again, which had mercifully stopped swelling.

.

…

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Several days later, Izumi was curled up in the den, reading a novel when Itachi stepped into the room, holding a crate.

"What's that for, Itachi?" she asked without glancing up. She had obviously just gotten to the most exciting part in the story and Itachi could tell she was faintly annoyed by the interruption.

He smiled. "I brought home a new guest."

He lifted a tiny creature out of the box and it mewled softly, kneading the front of Itachi's shirt with its paws.

Hearing the sound, Izumi glanced up and promptly squealed.

"A kitten," she exclaimed, lurching forward and cradling the young thing in her arms. "Wait a minute, but what about your otoutou?"

She glanced quizzically up at Itachi. "Isn't Sasuke allergic?"

Itachi reached out and poked her forehead affectionately. "This is a Russian Blue. They are a species of hypoallergenic cats."

Izumi's eyes softened and she stretched up on her toes to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Itachi."

Sasuke, passing by the den, saw the exchange and rolled his eyes a third time, but refrained from making a scathing remark about keeping the PDA to a minimum and continued down the hallway.

Sometimes, even moody avengers have to make exceptions.

.

…

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 **Please let me know what you guys think! This actually happened recently with a stray cat I found, so I wanted to share this story by including my favorite Uchiha characters.**

 **Yes, I know Sasuke isn't allergic in canon. But I thought it would make the story cuter.**

 **Anyhow, thanks for reading!**


	3. Cold

**I'm sick today so of course, Sasuke is sick too. This is a just a drabble I decided to write in bed, bored out of my mind. Feel free to leave reviews!**

* * *

Of course, given Sasuke's rotten luck, he _had_ to be assigned a reconnaissance mission in the middle of a ghastly summer typhoon (the Hokage was doing this to spite him, he thought murderously to himself). And of course, as further evidence that someone in the universe was conniving to make sure Sasuke was as miserable as possible, he had to tail his target for two days without rest through the howling gale before he had finally caught up with the missing-nin from Suna and forced him into submission with his Sharingan.

The upshot of all of this was that by the time Sasuke returned, he was drenched to the bone, his hair was matted into an unbecoming tangle with dirt and leaves, and he could fill the comings of a massive cold-in-the-making.

So it was no surprise when the next morning, he woke up to a miserable headache, a throat coated with sandpaper, and a fever.

Now ordinarily, a little cold was nothing to Sasuke. He had endured life as a missing-nin, had been caught in the explosion of Diedara's idiot suicide-bombing attempt, and had nearly been killed by his own brother's doujutsu, _for god's sake_. A cold should be nothing but a tiny blimp on the radar of physical discomfort.

Of course, that was all before he had met Izumi.

His brother's live-in-girlfriend was all but intolerable, and Sasuke often wondered how someone as calm and serene as Itachi could have picked such a boisterous, annoying girl to be his partner.

It was like having a second Sakura around, but unfortunately, this one carried the surname Uchiha. Which meant she was privy to their bloodline limit, privy to their compound, and of course, privy to being considered the most suitable candidate for marrying Itachi and partaking in their clan's restoration. (Sasuke tried really hard not to think about the last point. In fact, he made sure to choose a room as far away as possible from Itachi and Izumi to ensure he never, _ever_ heard a single sound from their bedroom antics.)

In short, she was loud, uncouth, and unrefined. And if Sasuke had to be honest with himself, he only bothered staying in the Uchiha compound out of familial devotion to his older brother. If Izumi and Sasuke had been the last living Uchiha on the planet, he would have run as fast as possible in the opposite direction.

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…

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He had awakened at the crack of dawn to Izumi's cat—which, as far as he was concerned, was hellspawn from the devil itself. The cat had taken a liking to pouncing on Sasuke's toes while he slept, and today had been no exception.

He awoke to the pain of sinking claws on his right foot, and swearing belligerently, he had shaken the cat off, dumped it unceremoniously outside of his room, and dove under his covers once more.

His sore throat made it hard for him to fall asleep, and it felt like he had just sunken into a blissful slumber when promptly at 6:30am, Izumi had thundered past his room, shouting a friendly greeting down the hall to her friend, who had stopped by the compound.

"Hinata-chan! It's so good to see you!" her shriek could be heard reverberating through the entire compound. There was the rattle of a rice-paper screen door followed by a slam, as Izumi departed from the compound with her friend. Her loud giggles could be heard slowly receding as the two kuniochi mercifully left the compound.

The noise had awakened Sasuke for the second time, and had done nothing but aggravate his pounding headache.

He turned to his other side and covered his head with his pillow.

Just when he had drifted off into sleep once more, he was awakened by quiet footsteps padding towards his room, and ok this was the _last_ straw. If she was going to pull another prank on him—

"Izumi," Sasuke snarled, sitting up with a kunai ready in his hand. " _Leave_. _Me_. _Alone_."

But to his consternation, it was Itachi who poked his head in, looking slightly taken aback by the murderous fury in Sasuke's eyes and the kunai he weld threateningly in one hand.

"Nii-san." Sasuke placed the kunai back by his pillow, abashed.

"I heard you had returned from your mission, Sasuke." Itachi entered and sat down quietly beside him on the bed. "I wished to inquire as to how it went."

"Well enough," Sasuke muttered, averting his eyes. He sneezed and it made his head throb uncomfortably.

"You're ill." It wasn't a question. Itachi always had sharp eyes and an even keener sense. "You have a fever."

"It's nothing."

"I'll have Izumi look in on you later. She knows some great herbal remedies."

Sasuke bristled. " _No_. Nii-san, I do _not_ want Izumi coming anywhere near me."

Itachi raised his eyebrows. "She cares for you, Sasuke."

"Like hell she does," he muttered sullenly.

Itachi was silent for a beat, and Sasuke was worried that he may have offended him, but then he spoke again.

"It's no matter," he said finally. "I'll have some breakfast prepared for you downstairs. Come down when you feel marginally rested, and we'll leave you alone for the rest of today."

He rose quietly and turned to leave, but then turned back to Sasuke.

"And one more thing." His hand reached up, and Sasuke tensed, expecting him to poke his forehead, but Itachi merely reached into his hair and pulled something loose from his tangled bedhead.

"You didn't wash out all the leaves from your hair yet."

.

…

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As Itachi had promised, there was a small plate of eggs and toast waiting for him when he finally made his way downstairs, and he gratefully scarfed down the breakfast. The rest of the day passed by uneventfully, much to Sasuke's relief. He whiled away the day in his room, taking turns between napping and catching up on his reading.

Izumi did not come up to check on him, much to his relief.

It was only much later in the evening, when Sasuke was just about to will himself to get out of bed and make the trek down to forage something from the fridge for dinner, that he heard a soft knock on the screen door.

Curious, he slowly rose, and parted the screens, but there was nobody in the darkened hallway.

A wonderful smell made him glance down, and he saw a dinner tray prepared for him, complete with warm soup, a bowl of rice, and an assortment of side dishes.

There was a pink note beside the food. He reached down and picked it up. It read:

" _Dear Sasuke,_

 _Sorry for waking you up earlier! Itachi told me you were in a sore mood and that I should leave you alone. I hope you enjoy the food. And don't worry! Itachi didn't make any of it (we both know what a_ menace _he is in the kitchen)._

 _Get better soon._

 _Xoxo_

 _Izumi._ "

Sasuke smiled slightly to himself.

It looks like he needed to revise his opinion of Izumi, he thought to himself, as he carried the tray back inside his room. Sometimes, living with her as a housemate was not as bad as it seemed.

.

…

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End file.
